My 3 a.m.

3 a.m. is for evening drives and broken handwriting. 3 a.m. is the time for late night phone calls, tousled hair, and blown out candles. 3 a.m. is for silhouettes of plants on a window ledge.

3 a.m. is my idea of comfort.

You see, at this live hour, most people are sound asleep. Dreaming of a new day, or reliving an old. And as I generally am doing the same, I have become much more appreciative of the unintentional embrace a 3 a.m. morning holds. The city lights are on, but the music is off. There is a hum in the silence, but there is beautiful darkness found in the bulb of a tall old town lamp. The streets are empty, but the pavement is full - full of colors, and full of stories. You see that the black cement glows the reflection of an untold day. And as 3 a.m. turns to 4 a.m., and later into 8 a.m., the weight in every day travel begins to shadow over the glow of freedom that will later resume in routine. That will later overflow with life and with noise.

So, let me ask you... have you ever been awake at 3 a.m.? And if so, why?

Most people would respond with the simple and honest truth in their inability to sleep, but let me ask you this...

Was it for an evening drive? Were you cruising around because your bed did not welcome you the way it usually does? Or were you cruising around because you knew that the streets were going to be empty, and your soul asked you to endure the comfort? Your soul asked you to enjoy the opportunity to breathe?

Was it because your mind was speaking words through your favorite gel pen? Were you unable to sleep, so all you could think to do was write? Or in my case generally, was it because you were writing - you were unable to sleep? Is your writing illegible because of the lack of light to see lines of black fill a page, or is it broken handwriting, because it was written with a broken spirit; a broken heart? Were you awake because you couldn't sleep? Or were you awake because your soul asked you to reflect? Asked you to dream awake?

Was it because you needed to make that late night phone call? Were you unable to sleep, so therefore picking up the phone was your only option? Or was sleep never even a possibility, and 3 a.m. was the only time you found reasonable as you tossed the idea around for hours? Was it because you couldn't seem to convince yourself that a 8 p.m. cry for help was justifiable, and 3 a.m. was the end of convincing yourself that you weren't worth someones time? Was it because at 3 a.m. you finally found a bit of your value?

I am asking, cause as though we feel the frustration of not being able to sleep, to rest - we too don't even realize that our soul, in a way, is protecting us. Protecting us by forcing us to enjoy the embrace of an empty morning hug.

Mary is my 3 a.m.

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Just like a late night drive, she gives you the opportunity to breathe, to enjoy the silence around you.

Just like broken handwriting, she has a way of getting you to reflect, to dream awake.

Just like a late night phone call, she comes in at the perfect time, and is able to just listen, and make you laugh. To make you cry, but in a hopeful laughter that inspires.

And very much like tousled hair, she has a way of make a messy life, look like a beautiful life.

Like a blown out candle, she fills the room with the sweet scent of inspiration and vision. Vision that not only comes in the sweet smell of vanilla, but too the alerting smell of smoke. She does not hide the truth in the battles we walk into when we begin to live a better life. But she is too there to tell you that there is nothing more crucial, nothing more necessary.

And like a silhouette of a plant on window ledge, she is a soulful reminder that growth happens in all of us. At 7 p.m. when her leaves and hands are out to give and serve, and at 3 a.m. when her branches and limbs are bent and resting. Alive and well, she binds together the light of a beautiful day, and the darkness of a beautiful night. She is right there with you, like a 3 a.m. soulful hug, she is there vulnerable, honest, and real.

Just like her photographs.

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So next time you are contemplating on whether or not to get your photo taken by the one and only, remember this picture. Cause though is my 3 a.m., she is above all a family woman. She is a mom, and a pretty damn good one. <3

Her ability to do all the above, and still raise 3 beautiful children, really shines in every photo she takes. Her nurturing heart, and love of humanity really never goes unnoticed, and is really just waiting to shine through, and with YOU. 

So what are you waiting for? Let the legacy Mary is leaving behind inspire you to find yours. Cause though 3 a.m.'s are beautiful, they too are brutal. And you got to protect your heart!  And there are so many ways you can do that, but just trust me when I say that Mary's talent will help you with just that.

Family people, love family people - and lets be honest we are ALL family people, whether we have a family or not. So let that sink in next time you contemplate photos, or even during that 3 a.m. evening drive, or the 3 a.m. phone call. 3 a.m.'s are there for you to see yourself, to love yourself. And ladies and gentleman, that is precisely one of Mary's many talents. 

She already loves you, now it's time for you to love YOU.

Until then,

Stay safe,

xoxo

Shania

Mary Breuer